What does a Coach do?

I'm often asked a question that, to be honest, I sometimes struggle to find a comprehensive answer to: what does a Coach do?

What does a Coach do?

There are many answers to these questions, too many, and it's very difficult to tell them all. Or rather, it always was, until I read the words you're about to read. After reading the words in this article, I realized I'd been asking the wrong question all along. Yes, because the right question isn't "What does a Coach do?"

The right question is “What does a person who relies on a Coach do?”

What you are about to read is definitely the best answer to this very difficult question. I am infinitely grateful to the person who wrote all this . It was supposed to be simple feedback on the Coaching journey he took with me. Instead, it turned out to be a true manifesto for the Coachee (one who embarks on a Journey with a Coach).

Coachee Manifesto

Recognizing and remembering the value of the work we previously did together, how impactful it was in changing direction and bringing me closer to the "road home ." Recognizing the entire journey from the previous work we did together to the current one; I think they were two of the most intense years of my life, two tough years, but during which I felt truly alive (people met, jobs changed, travels, life stories heard, etc.).

Recognizing that I had achieved many of the goals I had set for myself, but that something didn't go right and I found myself in a stalemate , which I didn't know exactly where to place, how to manage and which made me feel bad (because I felt like I no longer had any control).

Recognizing that in this quagmire situation, help could make a difference.

Deciding to ask for this support, giving myself permission to ask for help, making room in my life for this journey, which requires the right amount of energy (financial, time, training, lifestyle choices).

I write these things because "the journey" does not begin with the first foot on the ground, with the first contact with the coach, in my opinion, but a little earlier , in the reasons/situations/instances that lead you to undertake this path and are an integral part of it, at least at the beginning.

The work we did together with Max was a matter of trust : bringing my questions, my requests for resolution to the puzzles that I couldn't find the answer to on my own and then letting myself be guided, in the sense that I personally committed myself to carrying out the indicated activities.

It was a process that saw me actively, I drew the answers from myself and they are personal.

However, I entrusted the "guidance" to the professional who knows the process, I allowed myself the luxury – on the one hand – of turning off my mind and simply getting started in the training, even without always immediately understanding what was happening, but dedicating myself daily to the prescribed activities.

For the record, the meaning of any activity carried out was always explained to me, I was always prepared for the various scenarios, Max in this has always guaranteed crystal clear clarity and a lot of respect , I'm saying perhaps that letting the unconscious mind work (something I can't do alone) gives lightness in the path and precisely because it's not something I deal with, this too is an act of trust.

The work we did together meant putting my face to it , coming to terms with certain parts of myself that I liked less, that I struggled to see or recognize and entrust to a "third" person; this was perhaps the most uncomfortable part, due to a physiological embarrassment, on the one hand, and on the other because then, once the "veils" are removed, you can no longer linger in excuses, waste time, or tell yourself stories; the path to your goal is clear and you can no longer postpone the race or the journey . A very beautiful thing, something that requires its due effort, and perhaps the quagmire of "before" had somewhat made you forget the taste of the dust you had to nibble on to get on the road home.

In this sense, the work we did together was a way of recognizing myself , accessing—with new tools, methodologies, and supports—myself, rediscovering my values, my preferences, my needs, my "vision." In this sense, it's a very ecological work; it makes you feel empowered because the various parts are restored to their personal and natural balance , not through external surgery, but thanks to a process that I felt was physiological.

The work we did together, therefore, was an opportunity for rebirth , even if my request concerned a particular aspect of my life, more focused on the professional side, it still gave me back to myself and this frees up a lot of energy , not only mental/emotional, but also physical, I have noticed it several times, amazed by the objective data in hand (I have increased the time of active wakefulness, I have increased the amount of daily movement, I have completed tasks/actions that had stalled for time immemorial, I have the perception of greater energy during the day, I make decisions more easily, I face them with less anxiety and more presence, etc.).

The work I did with Max certainly represented a strong point of reference for about four months: not only because of the weekly meetings and feedback, which certainly punctuated my schedule, not only because of the daily training sessions this journey brought with it, but also because of the "symbolic" meaning of the coaching process: support, care, growth, a space/time that is nourishing, constructive, and even protective . And this presence in itself has the potential, if not curative, then at least protective.

It's the lighthouse, you know it's there, it's in that precise spot and it illuminates, you can navigate your seas, with your own resources, but with the reassurance that the lighthouse is there.

I can't help but mention that this work we did together took place during the pandemic, which arrived for me, as for everyone, unexpectedly, disruptively, bringing grief, uncertainty, and, overnight, shattering our illusion of near-total omnipotence. I believe that doing this work during this particular period helped me not to be overwhelmed, not to fall apart . It wasn't an escape from reality in any way; rather, it was an additional invitation to "never give up .

Of course, it's been incredibly fortunate to have been able to access this journey and pursue it, that is, not to have been personally affected by the disease (or worse), and for that I can only be grateful; I take no credit for it. Otherwise, I've noticed on several occasions that I've had resilience—not control, but resilience, primarily mental. Okay, my work has been suspended and won't resume until September. Yes, financial priorities have changed, as have both daily life scenarios and immediate future prospects for my family, relationships, and career. In my small daily life, however, I'm forging ahead, "holding on," searching for a little more meaning, doing everything I can to ensure the health of myself, my loved ones, and others, and I'm not stopping here; I'm moving forward, already looking ahead to what's at the end of the tunnel, or still in the middle of it.

For my part, it occurred to me that, faced with certain misfortunes that cry out for death, I know no better way than to turn to life, to throw it in the face, life, life, life . The journey I took with Max was a great awakening, it restored to me a sense of effort, of training , and the joy of them. I use this sporting term because awareness is more immediate with the body.

If you want to gain greater strength, greater speed, better results, it goes without saying that you have to persevere in the exercise and that that effort there, that sweat there, that pain there are inevitable and you can only do them for yourself.

In life choices, however, it's as if this direct connection disappears, or at least one feels justified, at a certain point, in saying "enough, it's too much." Perhaps because we've lost our focus along the way, and the connection between effort and goal has loosened, and from there it's easy to slide into the quagmire (making decisions based on the lesser evil, settling, accepting compromises, and then dragging ourselves along with ever-decreasing energy)..

Rediscovering that to reach your goal you have to give it your all every day, no matter the cost.

Rediscovering it not with my head, but in small (big) daily gestures , has made me appreciate training, effort, and is giving much more purpose to my days – which are objectively richer, perhaps even more complicated, but undoubtedly more productive and alive.

The work I did with Max wasn't a sweetener. I'm still working on my goal, on achieving it as best as possible. I can say that this work we did together represented a change in perspective . Done not only with my head, but with the small, big daily actions that release unimaginable energy.

This work we did together has inevitably represented—in light of my rediscovered values, colors, and scents—a reassessment of my standards . In selecting relationships, job offers, and even in managing my time, my commitments, my interests.

I've started using my planner, checklist, and memo pad with much more diligence and satisfaction. While before, the list was often a boring mountain of tasks to be completed as late as possible, now it's the roadmap of my daily training, and being able to cross off items, especially the most annoying ones, is becoming a satisfying challenge, because every step I cross off is a step that frees me, bringing me closer to my goal .

As I was saying, this work also involved a process of selection in relationships . Again, it wasn't a surgical operation, planned at a desk, but a very physiological process that occurred naturally, prioritizing my priorities, everything else falling into place. From this perspective, too, it's a physiological process. And while on the one hand, selection means eliminating (certain habits, certain activities, certain jobs), it also means filling your day, your life, with commitments, habits, and relationships that are more satisfying, more yours .

If this work done together were a form, it would be that of a spiral , because the instance it carries is infinite. Of course, work, in space/time, has a beginning and an end, which also allow us to measure the achievement of objectives.

When you trigger this process, you continue to see/intuitively sense its evolution, its potentially infinite potential…

Not the process for the process' sake (like those who remain in therapy for life, that would be a huge failure, for me), but constant training for excellence .

This work we did together was certainly a job well done . I'm talking about the format, the duration, the clarity of the objectives and tools, and the timing. The meetings were well-balanced; I remember that several times, at the end of the session, I had the feeling that my "brain" had been working hard and needed to digest all the work done . The weekly "tasks" were also sustainable and effective. In addition, I saw tangible results .

The work we did together had a strong research . It arose from a research request (I'm actually looking for a job). It was a search for the real question I was asking.

It was a search for myself, for meanings, for meta-meanings, for new paths, for new answers, for new panoramas.

Research also as dynamism: research not for a prepackaged recipe (perhaps my initial hope), but for my own authentic way of research; research not for a fixed destination but for my own personal way of traveling through the various stages of life .

And so much more, so I'd like to finally answer the question "what did the work done together with Max mean to you?" with these words:

“May your path be winding, windy, lonely, dangerous, and lead you to the most spectacular vista.”.

Because “Full speed ahead, always” !!!

I'm sure you now understand what a Coach does, or rather, what a person who relies on a Coach does. Now it's your turn. Click here to learn more about your personalized online coaching program!